The Trip Home - Final Day

Click here to go to the day 1 :)


I woke up by 6 in the morning. Got myself fresh and I am ready to go!! Nishku had already kept the route map print in my bag. Checked the route map and it was only 217 kms to Kumily as per the map!!! I couldn't digest that though. Nishku was asleep. Kicked him awake to say good bye and I am off by 6:45 AM from Coimbatore. First destination is Palani via Pollachi. I need to find a way out of the city first. Headed straight to Gandhipuram, again straight to Ukkadam, a U turn, then a left from the flyover and I am near the junction at Coimbatore Jn railway station. Some guys in a car were guiding me from the railway station road to Pollachi road but lost them at the traffic signal at the Pollachi road. Doesn't matter, I found the road. Crossed NH47 after a while where the red lights stopped none of the truckers or moped guys. I was waiting at the signal for the light to turn green and everyone around were looking at me as if I have come from some other planet. I think they all think that the lights are there for the coming Diwali!!

The road was good and the weather the better. Sun was just rising over the fields and the traffic was very light. Reached Pollachi and followed the sign boards to find the Palani road. It was easy. The road ahead was better than the earlier and here I go. I was cruising past the buses and trucks. Then, all of a sudden, one Scooty Pep over took me!!! I was riding at 70-80 kmph and this tiny creature just zapped past me. There was a guy of 45 yrs riding it, his daughter in the middle and wife riding side saddle in the rear. I couldn't believe it and was very angry to see this. Well, it is not that I mind somebody overtaking me but I was angry at the headless asshole riding it. I couldn't imagine what would happen if a truck just came onto the wrong lane. Forget that, what about a pothole? There was 95% chance for an accident. I have seen teenagers rash riding on tiny scooters and bikes but a middle aged guy with his family riding pillion rashing on an uneven highway on a tiny little scooter!!! That was.... I don't know what to call it!!!

I stopped in the middle of a wind farm. The view was beautiful. But only 3 or 4 of the mills were rotating!!! Again I wish I had a camera with me :( Started again and stopped to attend a call from my friend. There was a small shop where I stopped and I had a tea and some peanut cookie (Kadalamuttayi) from there. Met the scooter family after some kilometers. They were filling petrol - from a bottle! Wished them good luck in my mind and I headed to Palani. I have planned to fill petrol and air at Palani. Stopped near Palani at a junction which seemed to be - one direction to Palani town and other, a bye pass. But there were no signboards and I decided to ask at the nearby Petrol bunk. Filled some petrol and asked the bunk guy about the way and he, after a long thought, told me the way, which seemed to me, towards the town. There was no air filling at the bunk and I started again worrying about the tire pressure. I was right and reached the heart of the mess at the Palani town. Found a petrol bunk with air filling and I entered that. Filled petrol for Rs 50 and availed the free air filling!!!

After the mess of the town, I joined the bye-pass which I missed. Next destination is Oddamchittaram, 30 kms ahead. I stopped near a railway gate and drank a tender coconut. It was Rs 15!!! A tender coconut in the middle of Bangalore city will cost you only Rs 12. On the day 1 of the trip I had one for Rs 7 and I was pretty much happy with that. I cursed Bangalore guys for charging Rs 12 and re-reminded myself that Tamilnadu villages have a cheap cost of living. And now, after paying Rs 15 to the guy, I wondered about this costing!!! Rode non stop till Oddamchittaram and there I was at Oddamchittaram junction with no signboards. I asked for direction to a guy standing there and unfortunately he was new there. So I got down from the bike and asked one carpenter who was busy giving finishing touches to a chair. He told me that I got to go right to reach Vattalagundu which is my next destination. I gotta go 40 kms more to reach there. I was nearly out of cash. On a trip like this, one should always carry enough money for, well, towing the bike. Just in case. Another reason is that I may be asked to shell out money by some Police guy at any point of time. Bribe!!! You can say no to bribe, but if you are travelling through another state, alone, on a long distance bike trip, you have no other choice but to give a few hundreds. So I stopped at an ATM in Vattalagundu. ATM was also out of cash. So I thought of taking money from Periakulam, my next stop.

I reached Periakulam after a wonderful cruise through the NH48 extn. I was riding slowly in search an ATM and I found one at the end of the town. Got down from the bike and walked into the ATM only to see the security motioning to me that the machine is out of order. He told me that the next ATM is in Theni, my next destination, which is very close by. Theni... One of the Theni municipality members was my friend and I think he still is. So I was telling myself that even if some police guy ask me to bribe, I can call my, so called contact and escape. But I still remember one instance happened some years ago in Theni with this Contact. We went to a college for an admission, not through entrance exam but through this 'Contact'. All the managements said no and the Contact revealed his identity to them. They were like "Oh, so you are the so-and -so. Good for you. What the hell do we have to do with that?" So I tell myself that the Contact stuff won't work and head for an ATM!!! (Jokes apart, he is an influential person. But I would never use these influences against law and order).

At last I got the money from Theni and headed to Cumbom. Now I was in a dilemma on which route to take to reach home. I had three options. First, I can turn right from Cumbom to Cumbom mettu through the ghat road and go home via Kattappana. Second, I can go to Kumily and from there to home via Kattappana and finally from Kumily to Marykulam via Anavilasam, Pullumedu which is the shortest but not a major road. I thought of calling home and asking about the final route. I stopped near Cumbom, stretched, washed my face and called home but no one picked up the phone. I tried some more calls home and then gave up.

It was around 1:30 PM when I reached Cumbom and I turned right towards Cumbom mettu, thanks to the impulse. I stopped at the road entrance to have lunch from a Kerala hotel where me and my cousin had come some years back on a way to meet 'The Contact' for some business matters for my cousin. While I was having my lunch, my dad called me and I asked him about the routes. He suggested me to take the Kumily - Anavilasam - Marykulam route and assured me that I would get a bus very easily!!! So guess what? My parents didn't know that I was coming all the way from Bangalore on my bike ;)

I turned around from the Cumbom mettu road after my lunch and head to Kumily, Kerala. I could see the hills of Kerala infront of me. Steep hills. I have to climb all the way up and I enjoy riding uphill. I passed through the grape yards of Gundalpettu. I had an urge to stop by and have some fresh grapes but I didn't. Don't ask me why. So here I am, climbing the ghat road to Kumily. I had to crawl behind buses because there was not enough width for road to overtake, and at last, I entered Kumily, Kerala.

Hooo hooo.... KERALA!!! I was laughing hard with joy, inside my helmet. I felt like I have reached home. But I have not reached home! The sky was cloudy in Kerala and it was likely to rain in an hour. I gotta rush home before it starts to rain. I head straight on NH220 and turn towards Anavilasam after 1.5 kms. Now I was riding through a small road. I was riding through Cardamom and Coffee plantations. Hairpin bends and steep climbs. Jungle streams and tall trees. I could see the rain in the hills far away and the air around me told me that they were expecting rain in anytime. It was awesome. Sexy! Romantic! But I was alone :( :(

Nevermind!!! I gotta go because it already started drizzling. The plantation workers were going home with their plastic head covers against rain. I wanted to go fast but it was impossible to go fast through this road. It started to rain and I was still riding. I gave up after a while and stopped at a bus stop and got the cover from rain in a waiting shed. I asked an auto-rickshaw driver and he told me that it was 3.5 kms to Marykulam. Another auto-rickshaw came with some school kids and one little girl joined me. Little Safia had to go to her tuition teachers place and she was waiting for her mom to come with umbrella to take her. She told me that she was studying in 2nd standard but she took out a UKG text book from her bag and started studying. She was taking tuitions for some scholarship. My mom called me and asked me how I was coming. I told her that I was coming by bike. She called me only to ask me by what means I was coming. So my uncle, whom I have called for confirming the route, must have called her. Rain got over and I bid adieu to Safia. I took another small road from Marykulam instead of taking the main road.

I reached home by 3.45 PM. It was still drizzling and was cold. If you are in Alady, my village and it is cold, the answer is 'hot black coffee'. 100% made in Alady :)

PS: The distance Google shown was not correct or may be the route I followed was different. I travelled around 350 kms. In the Google, Palani to Periakulam was less than 40 km but it took me more than 120 kms. That was the major difference.

The Trip Home - Day 2

Click here to read the day 1 adventures :)


Woke up by 9:45 PM and had break fast from a nearby shop. Wanted to check the route map from Coimbatore to Kumily in Google but they didn't have a net connection. Tried for some cyber cafes but all were closed due to some by election going on today. Called one of my uncles to check out any easier route than I have planned and then decided to follow what he has suggested. Coimbatore - Palani - Oddamchittaram - Vattalagundu - Periakulam - Theni - Cumbom - Kumily - Home. Watched some TV and then realised that it was already past 12 in the noon and decided not to start today. I didn't wanna take a chance with trucks in the night again. I was too lazy to go out for lunch, so sat in the house. All of them were in evening shift and they all left by 1:30 PM. I was all alone in the house. Watched some TV. I was feeling hungry by now. Went out and bought some juices, potato chips and some biscuits. Couldn't eat all but tried my level best and kept the rest for the guys. Power was out so couldn't watch TV. Tried to sleep and take some more rest but couldn't sleep. My shoulders were still aching. Called Nishku and asked him to take some printouts of the route on Google maps. Continued watching 'Travel and Living' after the power came. Had dinner by 8:30 PM from the same place where I had my break fast. Dosa and half boiled egg. It was raining outside. Hope that it won't rain tomorrow. Some more TV and then sleep by 11:00 PM. Gotta start tomorrow early in the morning.


Click here to read the final day adventures :D

The Trip Home - Day 1

Woke up in the morning and packed my stuff. Planned to come back to Bangalore and take my stuff to Chennai to avoid carrying the entire luggage home. Called Nishku and informed him that I would be coming to Coimbatore tomorrow. He told me that he's got his evening shift and will be back only by 11 in the night and suggested me to plan my ride so that I reach his place by night. I told him my plans to start early in the morning to avoid Bangalore traffic and night riding through the highways (I don't wanna get killed by the reckless truck drivers who doesn't know what is low beam head lights!!).

Just after I ended my call to Nishku, I had an impulse to start my ride then and there itself. Impulses. I just love them because they are the ones who gave me all the joys I had. Called my roomie who is at office and told him that I am leaving today itself. Took a bath, took my back pack and helmet, locked the room and thump thump thump. Started my 1985 Royal Enfield Bullet and off to Coimbatore by around 11:45 AM.

Traffic was really bad in the city. There were some diversions due to some kind of election procession or stuff like that. It took me around 2 hrs to get out of city. There was elevated highway work going on in Hosur road till the halfway to Hosur ie around 15 kms. Filled some petrol on way and headed to Hosur. Gave a small 'Ganesha Chathurthy' donation to some kids who came to me at the filling station (I think it was on Ganesha Chathurthy because the receipt had a Ganesha symbol on it. I couldn't read the text because it was in Kannada!!!). I touched my 100 kmph with ease there and then slowed down. Just checking the machine, you know (Ride responsibly and carefully!!!)

Reached Hosur. I had to take the Royakottai - Palacode road from Hosur. Asked some guys about the road condition and the responses were positive. Took right turn after the first bridge in Hosur and I hit the road. The road was a little bumpy at some stretches but overall it was pretty decent. Then it started. My engine started coughing and it went off a couple of times, especially on bumpy roads or when climbing slopes. I was kinda terrified. The road was a State Highway through some villages and a help somewhere nearby in case of an engine trouble was almost impossible. I checked the engine area and found out that the spark plug cover was out. Fixed the cover properly and started again with relief only find the engine coughing again when I paced up. Then after a while I found out that the coughing happened only when I push the throttle hard. Then I reduced the abrupt acceleration and maintained 60-70 kmph and it was running fine. Thank god!!!

The landscape was really beautiful but I did not have a camera with me. It was really bad. I could have taken numerous beautiful snaps around the trip if I had one. I reached Royakottai after 02:30 PM. Had 2 teas (they were awesome!!) and a piece of milk cake. Called Nishku and told him that I already started today and I am past Hosur, in a place called Royakottai. He started worrying that there would be nobody to take me to his room as all of them were in the evening shift. I told him not to worry as I would be reaching there by the time his shift ends. It's been so long since I had a bit of exercise and my body began reminding me about that. My left shoulder was painful by now. The reason being my rear shock absorber which is stiff like steel. I stretched a bit and started to Thoppur via Palacode. Nishku text messaged me on how to enter the Coimbatore town and which turn to take from the NH47 to the city. Entered NH after a while, somewhere near Thoppur. Halted for a tender coconut after the toll gate by around 4:30 PM. The vendor told me that Thoppur is 7 kms from there and I have to take a right turn to go to Mettur, which is my next destination. It was a small ghat section and there was a forest check post after the toll gate. I didn't notice the hump at the check post and I kinda jumped over the hump. I confirmed the way to Mettur with some truck drivers at the check post and continued my ride. I noticed that when I stopped at the truck drivers, a forest department jeep just started from the check post and began following me. They might have felt something strange by the way I crossed the hump. Smuggler!!!! Hahaha... They were behind me for a couple of kilometers and then stopped at some construction work which was going on there. Well, I was a bit tensed by that. Not only now, but whenever I came across any kind of police check posts, vehicles etc. The reason? I did not have the RC book original (it was at my home) or an attested copy of it, my vehicle insurance was outdated!!! Naturally I would be tensed to see any kind of law enforcement because I have to shell out some money if caught.

The Beast... I miss him a lot :(

I reached Thoppur and took a right turn from the NH to Mettur road. The road was neat and it took little more than an hour to reach Mettur. Filled some petrol and stopped at the junction near the Mettur dam. Stretched a bit. Wanted to go to the dam and have a look at it but it was getting late, so decided to take a left and head to Bhavani, my next destination. The day was ending and it was getting dark. I stopped at a village on the way to Bhavani by around 6:15 PM and had some snacks and water. My back was aching like hell. Washed my face and called my old colleague to ask about the road conditions ahead. Started again after a short rest and it was already dark. This was the worst part of the journey. A two lane road and bad visibility. I couldn't see anything because of the glare on my helmet visor due to the headlights from the vehicles from the opposite direction. I had to turn the visor up for better visibility but the flies and insects were hitting my face and some were going into my eyes. It was horrible. I had to go terribly slow to avoid any troubles. With great difficulty I reached Bhavani and entered NH47 by 7:15 PM. The road was smooth and a 4 lane. I headed straight to Coimbatore. My bike was not giving any troubles now and I could just cruise taking all advantage of the massive power from the Royal Enfield Bullet, but with care. I had to stop in between to attend and make some calls. The ride was smooth and wonderful, better than the same road condition I enjoyed in the NH stretch near Thoppur during the day because now my machine is not coughing when I go past 80 kmph. Awesome!!!

The luxury ended when I reached Avinashi. The 4 lane disappeared and so do the medians. Now I was face to face with the trucks and fast cars coming against me, sometimes frightening me by coming on my lane (No medians man, and almost nobody knew about low beam head light!!!). It was a bit frightening and once I just missed a head-on with a really fast car while overtaking a truck by going behind another truck!!! Thank god I am alive. I had to crawl behind slow trucks as overtaking was out of question. After all, I wanna be alive :)

Took the right turn from NH47 to the Coimbatore city and headed through the Airport road. Rode 8-9 kms and stopped near a bakery to have some refreshments. At last, I was in Coimbatore. It was 9:30 PM. Called Nishku and told him that I have reached the city, but it may still take more than 10 kms to reach his place. It will take around 2 more hours for his shift to end and so I decided to take rest at the bakery. Drank some juice and washed my face. My shoulder was aching like hell!!! I stretched my body to get some relief but no use. I started to Nishku's place called Ganapaty by around 10:15 PM. It was only 10.40 when I reached his place but he was still at office. I didn't know how to go to his house so he asked me to come to his office. I headed to his office in Kumaraguru College of Technology and met him by 11:15 PM. Came all the way back in the same road to his house. He made me a black coffee!!! Watched some TV and went to sleep by around 12:30 in the night. At last, rest!!! I hope my body pain would be relieved by tomorrow morning.

That was a great day!!! :D


Click here to go to the Day 2

Last sunday in Bangalore and the birth of a plan

Sunday again... May be the last in Bangalore :( I might be leaving Bangalore this week. Thinking of a plan to take my bike home. Train or ride home? The latter sounds really good!!! It is around 600 km from Bangalore to my home. Some starting trouble was there for the bike though. Took to the mechanic yesterday and got it corrected. Took the bike again to the mechanic this morning for a check up. Just in case I wanna ride all the way home!!!

Went to Renju's place (Renju, the guy. My classmate and room mate in college. Not Renju, the girl - my girl friend. Everyone who know us always get confused!!!). Had food at KFC. I was discussing with him the plan to ride the bike home. Tried to call Anish Xavier alias Nishku to plan the stay at his place in Coimbatore on my way home. Couldn't connect him. Came back home by 11 PM. Still the plan in my mind. Plan to start by day after tomorrow, ie Tuesday, early morning. A bit worried for any troubles during the ride. :(

It is a dream, to ride my Bullet for days and days together. Cover the entire India on a Bullet. May be this ride can be a beginning if I make it happen.

Last day of my second job

So, this is my last day at my current company. My boss is on leave today so the send-off meeting was conducted yesterday. I got a veg puffs. lol. Everybody were talking something polished about me, may be the corporate 'diplomacy', you know. Some said that I was really good at what I was doing or rather what I have been told to do. That was true, may be till the March this year. After that I was being an asshole in the office. I was kinda frustrated and was not committed to work. Frustrated, not only from the office but also in my personal life for some reasons. A few or none talked or commented on my notorious short temper. But after the meeting some came and advised me to control my swearing. The frequent 'F words', 'Shits' and 'Bull shits'. I told them about the psychological studies regarding swearing in office. It helps to reduce the stress. Really. lol. They hoped that these will change by the time I finish my MBA.

Some were siting me as a classic example of lack of training among employees. I always asked for training in my function which was promised to me prior to my joining, for which I always cried to the management, but was never given. I hope the situation will be improved after a couple of guys like me leave because of that.

Some were talking about not utilising me in the technical areas as I was/am a graduate engineer in polymer. I don't know whether I will use my knowledge in Polymer Engineering ever again. I used it very well in my first job as a team lead of patent analysts. I left the job because that was a job you have to do sitting on a chair. The company was good though. I am planning for an MBA in Finance to pursue a career in Investment Banking, which interest me for the time being. I don't know whether I will be into that by the time I finish my course. Because my mind and soul is nomadic or gypsy kind.

I was also asked to talk on my experience in the company and also suggestions. I pointed out the need for resourse management, employee morale, work allocations etc (Blah blah blah blah. As if no one knew!!!).

That was it!!! :)

"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" By Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there's some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

The new medicine (for me!!)

I don't believe in drinking to relieve tension, forget the sorrows etc etc etc. I used to drink a beer once in a while or rather very rarely, onle when I am in good mood. The new discovery is something differnt.

When you feel like crying or aching to cry, and you cannot cry it out because of some reason, you feel a strange and severe pain in your - part chest, part throat - area. The pain in terrible and is really painful. I have been in such a situation. Recently, I was in this situation for so long. So long that the feeling still persist even after a week since it started. In between these days, I found the cure for it, accidently. The cure is WHISKEY. It may work with alcohol in general but it worked with Whiskey for me. The next day the pain is back again. I am not sure whether I should take the medicine again or not.

Reaching the inevitable destination

"No, I can't feel the pain", I responded. "I can't sense anything below my shoulders".

I was lying in the back seat of a jeep, my head resting on my cousin's lap and the rest of my body on someone else's lap, covered with some kind of cloth. The cloth was soaked in blood. The smell of blood was nauseating. The driver seemed to be in some hurry and the vehicle was crazily fast on the high-range road.

Even though I couldn't sense the pain and feel the blood oozing from my body, I could sense the seriousness from the faces surrounding me. My dad's friend was busy calling people on his cell phone and arranging some or the other things. My mom, was crying in the front seat. My cousin, whose lap my head was resting, was frightened like hell.

I wanna talk to her", I said.
"What?!!"
"I wanna talk to her, my girl. Somebody please give me a cell phone"
"Don't strain yourself. Calm down and lie quiet, Do you feel the pain?" My dad was talking to me. I was again insisting on talking to her.
"I just wanna tell something to her before I fall unconscious and fly towards the sky". My mom started crying helplessly after hearing this.
"Nothing's gonna happen to you. You'll be alright. We'll reach hospital in a while. Stop talking rubbish", dad said.

I could sense from his words that he was not confident in what he was talking. And I know that it will take at least 25 Min's to reach the hospital. I tried to keep quiet, just to keep my mom alright. Anyway she's gonna cry for at least a month from now. Let her be alright at least for sometime.
But I really wanted to talk to my girl. I wanted to talk my soul out to her before I leave this world, which seemed to happen in a couple of hours. She might not be interested to talk to her, but for my soul to rest in peace...

"I can't bear you. I don't wanna carry you, the burden, in my life. Leave me alone to live my life. I don't wanna live with you anymore. You are such a pain to me. Get away from my life."

Her words were keeping on repeating in my mind, not just now but for the past one week since she shouted these words to me over the phone.

"You want me to be on the way you want me to be. You don't let me be me. You don't let me spend a single money on anything I want. You thing we should only have what we 'need', not all what we 'want'. And you are too much possessive and obsessive about me that I cannot live my life the way I want it to be. I feel jealous to the people around me, seeing their freedom to live life their way. You are such a pain. I don't want to be with you. Get away from my life. GET AWAY FROM MY LIFE!!!!"
"Hey, what happened all of a sudden. Tell me what is the problem. We can work things out"
"Work things out? Hahaha... You are telling this for the past 4-5 years and nothing ever happened. I am fed up with you. Enough. Tell me why are you being with me? For the flesh?"
"What are you talking about? Stop talking nonsense. I am being with you because I love you. What is this stuff about flesh?"

"The bleeding has increased, I think" My thoughts were interrupted by the guy next to me.
"Cover the body with some more cloth. Try to stop the bleeding", dad told him. My mom's sobs were heartbreaking. I never thought or rather realised that somebody loved me more than my girl did. Now I realise the truths. I realise it late, just before my death, I suppose.

They were trying to cover my flattened ribs with some more clothes to reduce the bleeding. I could feel somebody touching the left side of my rib cage, but could feel no pain. It felt like my body below my shoulders were kind of numb. My rib cage was broken and was flattened by the blow. The skin and flesh on my back was peeled off while I was dragged through the ground. But I felt no pain, at least for the time being. I think, I will not feel the pain ever again, as the bleeding will kill me even before the numbness fades off.

We were reaching hospital. The jeep turned to the cut road towards the hospital. The ride was bumpy now but that never mattered to me. I seemed to be drifting towards some kind of trance. I have a very vague memory of me being transferred to the casualty section by some nurses and the people who were with me. I could hear the 'ooohs' and 'oh my goodness' from the nursing students on seeing my body. All of a sudden a lot of people were working 'on me.' Doctors were running around and some of them shouted "Don't let him sleep, keep him awake".

But I knew were it was heading and all I wanted to do was talk to her before I go up the sky. Things were getting clear by now, some injections helped I think. So now I know that I have some more chance of talking to her before I die.

I don't really want to let her know of my condition now was, but I wanted to tell that I loved her. "I am listening to this for long like a recording" would be her response though. But that doesn't matter now because I will not have any time to be sad hearing that as I usually do. I don't want her to scream "I love you dear, don't leave me alone, don't die..." after hearing my condition, because that will make it so hard to leave this world. If she still be stubborn and kept her ego strong, I can die peacefully thinking that there's no meaning to live in this world anyway, so why stay back. I thought of ending my life after she threw me out of her life, but I was hesitant. I liked to believe that one day she may come back to me and take me back into her life. If I die, I might be losing a chance to be with her. I was also very much afraid of taking my own life away.

But I loved her. I lived for her. She was my reason for living for the past 5 years. She knew it. All my plans for the life was linked to her. Actually there were no 'my' plans but 'our' plans. The only thing in this world I cared was for her, but she stopped believing in the recent past. We dreamt together. We cried together. But somewhere, something has gone wrong. Were it the romance? Have I lost the spark? May be it i money. Recently, when she was angry and frustrated, she used to tell me that it was better to live with a guy with more money than to supress the want for a very comfortable life living with me. But I have given her whatever she wanted, I believe. May be those were not what she wanted. We were planning our wedding this year but she told me lately that she need some more time. Were she just lost the interest in me? Or is it because of my possessiveness for her? I used to get jealous when she went out with other guys. I thought every lover feels that jealousy. But she used to be furious telling that

"He lost lot of blood", said one of the doctors. "The ribcage is broken and the rib pieces have injured the lungs and a part of the heart"
"We can do something, right", asked dad's friend.
The doctor didn't tell anything. My mom's sobbing became heart wrenching. I understood.

I always understood silence, except when it comes to my girl. I think that is where it went wrong. May be, it was really hard to understand girls, because they always except us, guys to understand everything from silence. Never tells anything even if ask them. Whatever, let's forget that. My dad's friend went outside the room whispering something to the doctor. The nurses and the attenders were busy on me and some were arranging for something looked like a monster dressing. My Dad's friend came back to the room and handed me his cell phone.

"You wanted to talk to someone right? Take this phone and talk", he asked.
"Don't let him talk and all. Don't strain him much. Let him take some rest", my mom shouted at him and tried to take the phone from him. My dad held her back and looked at her with a pair of painful eyes. Poor mom, she could not understand what was going on. After all she is my mom and she will always hope that I am going to be alright. I took the phone from him and dialled her number.

Thousands of thoughts were flashing through my mind. Hopes, expectations and reactions from her. One side of my mind hoped that she would jump and run to see me before I leave this world and other side believed that she would continue the indifference and hatred she has for me. The very unfamiliar, emotionally strong part of me thought that if she behaves the latter way, I would not leave this world with regret. But the emotionally strong part was succumbed to the majority which is the real me, emotionally not-so-strong.
The phone was ringing at the other end. It ended without getting answered. I was calling her cell phone and it seldom get answered when she's home. But I always try calling her on the cell phone because she would shout at me if I called her home land line. I never understood why. I was a little bit hesitant to call as I have been asked not to call her because she felt it so irritating. I dialled her home land line and it was answered after a couple of rings.

"Hello", a soft voice answered. It was her.
"Hello"
"Oh, you. what do you want?"
"I just wanted to talk to you. Can I talk?"
"No, you cant talk. I am not interested."
"Please, I won't take much time."
"Long or short. I don't wanna talk to you. YOU ARE DISTURBING ME. I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME..."
"Please, one last time"
"One last time. It's the nth last time. What the hell do you wanna tell?"
"Dear, I Love You"
-Silence at the other end.
"Hello..."
-Silence at the other end-
"Hello..."
"What the hell? @#%$#*"
"Did you hear what I said?"
"I am hearing this like a recorded stuff for long."
"But I mean it. I am telling this right from my heart"
"Hahaha... That's just a misconception."
"You believe it or not. I loved you, love you and will love you till my last breath, which is very close"
"Stop the goddamn emotional blackmailing. Like I give a shit if you die"
"I never did and I did not mean that I am going to die because you left me. I am in a hospital, drenched in blood. I just wanted to talk my soul out so that I can leave this world peacefully. Listen to the sound around me if you don't believe me."
-- Silence at the other end--

I felt so happy for the silence. At last, as I doubted, she loved me. It was all because of the ego problems. Oh my god, she loved me. I don't wanna die. Damn it, I don't wanna die. I want to live with her the rest of my life. Tears started rolling down my cheek. I just don't wanna die. I looked for the doctor. He was not there. My dad, mom and our family friend were looking at me in disbelief. They were listening to my conversation. I was oblivious to that. I felt so embarrassed and tried to talk on the phone.

"Hello..."
-- Silence --
Hooo... So she's now itching to meet me and regretting the things that happened.

"Hello... You there?"
-- Silence --
"Hello..."

Holy shit.... Did she disconnect? I glanced on phone display to check whether she's on line. Sometimes she just disconnect and leave if I talk to her for long. No, she was on line.

"Hello...", I called again.
"What? I am here. What do you wanna tell?"
That was cold. I couln't see any concern or regret in her voice. All my hopes and thoughts were shattered.
"I don't know what you except me to respond if you tell me this story", she said. "I told you not to disturb me and I have better things to do than argue with you. Go away. Die or live, I just don't care."
I didn't know how to make her believe that I love her and care for her. Tears started rolling dwn my cheek. My heart felt so heavy.
"See, I am not trying to get any sympathy. I am in the hosptal with my ribcage crushed and my lungs and heart ripped. I just wanted to tell that I loved you. You can talk to mom if you don't believe", I said.
There was a pause.

"I don't wanna talk to anyone and don't wanna talk to you.", she said.
She slammed the phone.

The nurses were trying to sedate me to perform some surgery on me. It started to pain. I didn't notice the pain while I was talking. My mom was crying and standing close to me holding my face. I never felt so heavy in my heart. I wanted to tell my mom that I loved her but could never express. I was feeling drowsy. The injections were working I think. I was feeling asleep.

And I never woke up from that sleep....

The job hopper story

This is one of the e-mails I have recieved during the recession period. I thought of sharing with you all. This is just a joke and please do not take it as a guideline for your career. LOL

Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the 'job hopper' (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it.... well he does not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the 'company loyal' employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys - the difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH:

Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the second time.

Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?
A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003 when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a year without job and with compromises.

Q: Which number of job was that?
A: That was my third job.

Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to justify the saying 'employer loyalty'. But I was an idiot.

Q: Why do you say so?
A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not save enough and also, I had thought that I had a 'permanent' job, so I need not worry about 'what will I do if I lose my job'. I could never imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my performance. That was January 2002.

Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009.
A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being 'company loyal' and not 'money earning and saving loyal'. But then you can save enough only when you earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving – I changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my stability.

Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?
A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are hiring. You tell me - can I get a job now because of the slowdown? No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford the expected salaries.

Q: What have you gained by doing such things?
A: That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed salary (without variables) of say Rs. X p.a. In January 2009, my salary was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without variable). I never bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go through the appraisal process to wait for the company to give me a hike.

Q: So you decided on your own hike?
A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a 'debt-free' life before being laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basis without waiting for the year to complete.

Q: So are you debt-free now?
A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq. feet) plus a loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for money, it is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money.

Q: Who is complaining?
A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me - why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.

Q: What is your advice to professionals?
A: Like Narayan Murthy had said - love your job and not your company because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company's needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around.

Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies?
A: When a company does well, its CEO etc will address the entire company saying, 'well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am with you." But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so well, the same CEO etc will say, "It is MY company and to save the company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go."So think about your financial stability first; when you get laid off, your kids will complain to you and not your boss.

Random thoughs on 28-03-2005

I wrote this on 28th June 2005, when I was at home for a vacation. I just came across this when browsing though my PC and thought of putting it on my blog. All these written here are what came across my mind 4 years ago while watching some program on TV and do not mean any offense to anyone - individual or organisations.

I don’t know what the correct date of the Emergency was. 1975 was the year I guess…

The things I got to read or any sorts of information about those days were very few, or rather I didn’t tried to get any information, may be because I’m also a part of the upcoming or existing generation of irresponsible malayalis. When some well-established or well-known writers of yesteryears pass away, there would be some parts or reviews of their articles or cartoons of them, in the newspapers, which protested against those days of Emergency and perhaps those were the only means for me to make some idea about the Emergency days…

But recently I happened to see a program in one of the leading Malayalam channels, which was done by a young journalist or better to say a media person, featuring some political situation or personal views of some political people who were the sufferers or the part of the Emergency. The people among them belonged to different political parties, from Congress to CPM to BJP to some other organizations like RSS. All of them were talking for and against the Emergency. All of the matters they were talking didn’t matter to me as they were purely political except for some.

What I noticed from all those talks and what they were able to point out was the fact that we malayalis, despite being educated and literate, could not and cannot respond against the good and bad in the society. We like to live our lives as it is and don’t mind to question anybody even if we are not given our basic freedom. It was clearly said in the show that the protest for the Emergency ordered by Smt Indira Gandhi who was the then leader of ruling Congress Party was very little protested in Kerala. The Communists were the opposition in the Lok Sabha and they didn’t do anything to protest against the inhuman decision taken by the central govt, even though this Emergency was against all their ideologies and all. All the thinkers, as they call themselves, of the party kept quiet till the Emergency was over.

RSS, it was quoted, was the only organization, which actively protested against those dark days of late seventies. And then they, the RSS, were just an organization in their infancy and so they could do only a little. Mr. P Govindha Pillai, one of the senior leaders of the Communist party told to the interviewer that they were against the Emergency in their soul and mind and said that not even a little boy in the party was in favor of this inhuman decision. He also told that they have helped RSS, even though they had exactly different ideologies, to protest against the Congress decision. As the Communist Party of India was incomparably huge organization than the RSS, and the fact that Communists were the opposition (So they could have done a lot more than this.), Mr. P G was, in my views, accepting the fact that his party kept its ideas and views only inside their mind or their minds were seized by idleness or due to lack of self respect or due to the lack of commitment to the party. Mr. P G accepted the facts and may be because of his this particular nature, the new leadership of the party kept him out of the party.

Some of the people who were interviewed were telling that the Communist party failed to benefit from the situation which was against the Congress, but the communal parties arose were the benefactors. In their opinion, this was the time when the communal parties beneficed, and was the time when parties like BJP and Janta Dal came to mainstream. They could easily get some supporters, apart being communal due to other parties’ stand on the situation. It might also have been because of the notable work done by the RSS. So now all these parties blame the situation for the emergence of a communal party like BJP. But where were they when they actually had to respond? If BJP emerged from Emergency, then all the communal riots and all other communal problems said to be created by the BJP must be alleged to be caused by the political parties existed at the time of Emergency. I am not sure whether I am right!

Now you must listen to what the most hated person in Kerala nowadays, I believe, says about those days of Emergency. Yes, I’m talking about Mr. K Karunakaran who was the home minister of Kerala during the days of Emergency. He says that those were the days of cherishing memories and that was how the state was meant to be forever. He says that those were days of perfection, the days when all the government offices opened and closed at right time, days when women in Kerala could freely walk around, days when women in Kerala were not afraid of their men to come drunk late in the night. And he also boasts that he made arrangements for the proper functioning of schools and all! I don’t know whether this fellow don’t know the importance of freedom, or better to say the problems of Fascist-like reign? You must also note that, this is the same person, who dared to make a new Congress Party from the already split-into-pieces Congress Party in Kerala, probably because of his lack of freedom in his party. (Or for his personal interests or due to his concern for his children?). No wonder why people started turning off the TV when this fellow appears on the screen!

But another Congress leader Mr. P C Chacko may be not that “committed” worker as Mr. K Karunakaran, accepted that the Emergency declared by Smt. Indhira Gandhi during Congress government, created such a bad image of Congress party among common people and also told that the Emergency was a big mistake of the government. Accepting things as it is a good quality, I believe, and a sign of wisdom. And let us pray for Mr. P C Chacko, not to be expelled from the party as Communists did with Mr. P G. And there were such a big number of political people – I don’t know which all parties they belong – who still believe or try to convince themselves that the Emergency did not make any notable changes to their life then!!!! Now only I realized that freedom was such a simple thing without which also we can easily live!

For my (ex) lover "Music"

My Dear Music,

I dont know what and where it went wrong between us!!! But I am really sad that we broke up. I loved and love you so much. You were my love, my fetish, my punching bag, my sex kitten, my best friend. I still remember the days when we used to flirt for hours. And everyone used to say that we were made for each other. All the people who knew me in real wanted me to marry you "too". May be it started as just a flirting but it grew into a really great relationship as we know. And here we are, in two different ways. But it was never your mistake, but mine. My priorities changed and I neglected you. Also no one understood our love and I never could convince them, because they wanted money and we were poor. Nobody understood love and passion.

Do you remember honey, we were passionately in love. We could talk for hours continuously, we could share our joys, our sorrows, we used to cuddle up for hours together. We made love throughout the day and night. I still savour the feeling of your naked body against mine. I still remember the raunchy evenings and erotic nights. But, here I am, without you. The fruits of our love are left alone even by us. You were delivering kids after kids. Twins, triplets, rock, melodies, jingles... Some were concieved and were not born and some were born handicapped :( But we loved them because they were our kids. But we tried and tried and were enjoying those foreplays and caressings... Ah... The memories bring tears to me.

As I said, my priorities have changed. I tried to mention your name to my soulmate and she was jealous of you. I know no lover can bear his/her partner flirting or having an affair with someone else. My family was ok if I just flirted with you but could never accept you as my life partner or rather one of my life partners. You were different. You were OK with me even when I had other affairs. We celebrated my other relationships and made love and had kids for them as gift. I know it sound stupid telling that we celebrated for my lover by having an affair with you. But we understand what we say or rather what we said. The persons for whom we gifted our kids just rejected them. They did not even looked at them. May be our kids were not so cute and beautiful, but they were our kids and meant so much for us.

I don't want whatever happened between us to happen again with other things in my life. I will stand for them, come what may and I will die to keep my relationship alive. So you were a hurdle for that and I dumped you. I they dont like you, get out of my sight. I HATE YOU MUSIC!!!!

Hard to leave bangalore :(

Bangalore is my favourite city and I think Chennai is the least favourite. Now I am leaving Bangalore and going to Chennai. Can it be worse?

Don't ask me why Bangalore is my fav and Chennai my least fav. Coz i don't have any clear answer for that. Lemme think about that....

Well, I think I like Bangalore for its climate, the cosmopolitan culture, cleanliness (relative), low cost of living, fashionable people and beautiful gals... All these comes to cover the Bangalore traffic which really sucks!!!! I think traffic is kinda same in most of the cities, so it doesn't matter.

And Chennai... It's hot and humid. That's enough to put me off. Cleanliness is an added 'dis'advantage. I used to go to Chennai almost regularly when my girlie was there. Even when I was going there to meet her, I used to be terrified by the thought of going there. Now I am going there and live there for the next two years. Mama Mia!!!!

Beautiful girls from all over India and some from abroad too... Beautiful and sexy girls... But I never saw them in Chennai or rather they were very very scarce in Chennai. :)

Going from a place with a romantic weather and going to a place where I am gonna sweat like a pig and suffer... Oh!!!.

When my girlie was in Chennai, she used to say Chennai was a great place and Bangalore was bad. But when she relocated to Bangalore, she was in love with the place and now doesn't want to go back to Chennai. But that's OK for her because once she is in one place she will say that is the best place. When she was in Gurgaon, that was the best place even with the 40 deg C sun and sky high cost of living. Then Chennai was the best place amid the nasty surroundings and irritating humidity. Then Bangalore as I already have mentioned. :):) So, may be in a while Bangalore will be a place she hates and Chennai her heaven again. LOL.

And also, Bangalore is the only place where u see the auto rickshaws using the meters (I heard that in Mumbai they use but I have not been there). The correctness of the meter reading is in shadows though :).. When I used to visit Chennai, the highest expense was on auto rickshaws, that too after a long and tiring bargaining with the adamant drivers.

But Chennai has the beaches!!! The longest/second longest stretch in the world I guess. How about that? Alright, I am not interested in the messy, dirty and crowded beach which is also used as the toilet by the locals. I don't know why my girlie was too much interested in this beach. Anyway I could never understand women!!! :)... But I guess this beach cannot beat the lush green Cubbon park.

OK... Let me see how it turns out in Chennai. Financially it's gonna be tough like never before :(
Cheers :)

How my roomie got screwd up

One day my roomie stayed back in office late and the next morning onwards he started saying nonsence. "Oh my god I am screwed up" "Hey guys, please pray for me. I am gonna get some real beatings" "Hey dudes, take care and be prepared. We all will get beatings soon" etc etc. But he never said wat was the problem despite of we asking him so many times. He just hinted that it was something with some SMS's he got and sent while he was in office that night. He being the biggest "tensed for nothing" guy I have ever seen, I left the issue and almost forgot about it.
After a couple of days, he gave his cell phone to our another roomie and shown him the Inbox and Sent items folder. Then this roomie also started uttering the same nonsence. But still, I was in dark and he told me that he will show the messages later. After 2 more days, he has shown me the messages which reads as below. (This is a reproduction from my memory, not the exact conversation)
Anonymous: Hey bring my ass wen u com to coll tomrw.
(Bring my assignment wen u come to college tomorrow)
Friend: Who's this?
A: Is this______ ? Sorry if I am wrong!!
F: No, its not ______. Dat's OK. That reminded me of my college days. Assignments and all :) Enjoy the college life. You will miss it when you are out.
A: OK. So you should be working now and missing your college days.
F: Yup. Always planning to go back to college. But something is pulling me back.
A: BTW, where are u working??
F: I am in XXXX YYYY ZZZZ!!!
A: Oh, XXXX AAAA BBBB!!! That's great. Where are you now?? (!!!!!!! A girl!!!!)
F: I am in office now. BTW it is XXXX YYYY ZZZZ, not XXXX AAAA BBBB.
A: You are in office till now. 10.30 PM. Why?
F: Last minute work from boss who is at home now.
A: Hey, that's not fair. Your boss is at home after giving you this job. How mean @@##*
F: That is how bosses are. You will come to know after some years.
A: Oh. Its very difficult. I don't think that I can make it. I am doing my 3rd year BE. Next year I will be passing out of college. A job in this recessed economy!!!!!
F: Hey, don't worry. By the time you guys will be out, the recession will be over. You are all lucky. Think about the fate of people who will graduate this year.
A: College is really boring with these lessons and assignments.
F: Oho. Why? Wat do you do there?
A: Today I bunked college and went for a movie. Movie was not good. When are you bunking your office next?
F: No bunking office.
A: Why? Your girlfriend will scold you?
F: I don't have a girlfriend. You bunk college and go to movies with your boyfriend?
A: Oh... Do I have a boyfriend? Tell me his name.
F: Wat?
A: You are telling that I have a Boyfriend, right. Then tell me his name. :)
F: So you don't have a BF. Why?
A: I have not found someone so nice and caring till now. You really don't have a girlfriend?? Even in college?
F: No. Which stream are you?
A: I am in CSE. (Computer Science and Engineering)
F: CSE is a really boring stream. You should have taken ME (Mechanical Engineering) me. Hehehe... The Royal Mechanical.
A: No no no. CSE is the best. ME is the worst. (Here is a flirty, girlie fight :O)
F: All CSE people tell that outside. But they regret it inside that they have taken CSE.
.
.
A: Then wat "da"...?? (!!!! Wats dat?? All of a sudden, so close...)
A: You are still in office?
F: Yup. Is it time for you to sleep?
A: So sad 'da'. I will sleep late "da". Usually sleep by 0100-0200 "da". (!!!!!!!). How will you come home "da"??
F: Will come by Company cab. Where do you stay??
A: I stay in -------. (The same place where we stay). BTW wat's your name?
F: My name is FFFFF. Same questions applies if you don't mind.
A: My name is "she she she".
F: Are you a 'Kannadi'??
A: Wat??!!!!
F: Dats wat the people who speak Kannada are called, right? (Stupid, its 'Kannadiga' not 'Kannadi')
A: Oh.. Yes. And you?
F: I am basically from Andhra, but parents are staying in Kerala from long time.
.
.
A: Then what da....?
F: Oh... At last I am out of office.
A: So you left? Where are you?
F: Just out. Where do you stay in ------???
A: I stay in ========. (!!!!! The same street where we stay!!!! Clicking something??)
F: Where is that?? (So you don't know where you are staying eh??) :)
A: It is near xyz hotel. Where have you reached?? (As if he doesn't know)
F: I am in ....... May reach home within half an hour.
.
.
.
.
F: It seems you dozed off.
A: No. I was doing something. You reached?
F: I just reached home.
A: Oh... Its really coinciding that my tenant also just now reached home
.
.
.
A: Are you the one who is staying in our top floor??? (Oops...)
F: I guess so!!!!
A: Oh dat's really a coincidence.. You alone dere?
.
.
.
F: Oh. I was taking bath. I am having some food now. Others have slept.
A: Oh, dat is really bad. Alone eh!!!
Now my friend thinks about the consequences if he takes this forward. He thinks of our landlord's (Her dad) nature. Discussions we had among ourself about his misterious businesses. He almost wet his pants thinking all these, I guess.
Next morning
A: (A forwarded message) "We always express what we hate but we fail to express wat we love"
A: Hey your cell phone bill is there ouside the house. Dont forget to take it.
F: Ok. Thanks.
A: Why thanks and all. No need of all these formalities among 'friends'.
F: What? Who here are friends?
A: So you dont consider me a friend???? :(
F: Wat do you want from me?? (This guy by now is really pissed off. He is getting nightmares of getting beaten up. He is like this by nature. Coward to the core. The results are showing up)
A: Hey, I swear it was a coincidence. I have saved this number in my friend's name. If you want to accept my friendship, you can. Else I won't message you again (She sends a business card with his number and her friend's name to prove it)
Now he remembers that last time she has given him the telephone bill. Hmmm... "Could she have.... noted my number...." (Confused). He checks the latest bill which she has reminded him to take, to find the area of the envelop torn off beneath where the telephone number is printed. (Smug)
He still lives in terror, dreaming of our landlord (not his daughter!!!!) :)
PS: I told this as a "Happening" to my girlfriend and she said "Dats all. I thought you guys really had some happening. Wat is this thing????"...
Oops... ;)

The dark side of the moon

The dark side of the moon. Its an album by Pink Floyd, the legendary rock band. But whenever I come across this name, something strike me. Something, I dont know what. And then I came across the song "Place for my head" by Linkin Park and the lyrics also had something to do with the moon shining and stuff like that. The lyrics are awsome. It talks about the partner not being fully committed and asking the favors back from the other. I know I sound crazy. I guess this is not really a way to start a blog. The song just came to mind when I opened the blog editor and I typed it in.
But, what is that? Something is coming to mind and I am just typing that down. Or just blurting it out. That sucks... But fuck that, that's the way I am...
Actually I wanted to name my blog "The dark side of the moon" but the name was not available... Then I tried "Blood sugar sex magik" but that too was not available... So I gave the URL "magik-sex-sugar-blood". Whatever...